Not young enough to know everything.

Today I had a nice short encounter with Sor Rosita that made me recalibrate some perceptions I have/had, I thought it would be Nice to share that with you. Sor Rosita is one of the nuns here in the home. I don't have a lot of contact with her since she Already is of a respectable age and doesn't have that many responsabilities anymore. When we do talk we often have these short little philosphical conversations.

The image I had from her until now was about as stereotypical as it gets. Nice wise old Lady, still has a lot of Energy in mind but is lacking the younger legs to Carry her al Day long (although I have on occasion seen her running impressively fast When she was late or in a hurry). Likes to Read a book in the Sun on a Bench or work on her knitting-work. Sitting on said Bench she Will take a nap in the Sun from time to time as well. Furthermore she is a nun, devoted to her religion, likes to talk to young People to keep her own spirit from aging to much. A little bit set in her ways, not anymore to capable to show an open mind to opinions far from the ones she formed ever so carefully over the years.

I want to repeat myself: all of the above was the image I have/had from her, I might be judging her completely wrong. As you maybe know, there exist as many mental Versions of anyone of us as there are People knowing us. Everybody that knows you has a mental mindmap of you. None of those mental mindmaps is exactly equal nor is one of them an exhaustive and perfect discription of who you are. Most of those mindmaps Will even contain small inaccuracies or even plain big errors. So now you have my mindmap of Sor Rosita.

Today she talked to me and took me by surprise. Out of the Blue she asked me if I am catholic. I explained to her I was raised in a relatively Free thinking environment in a catholic tradition. I think most of my family is still identifying as catholic (although I do not know for sure what they feel in their hearts since almost none of them really practice hardly any religious rituals). I think all of them still feel Strong about the catholic values though. I on the other hand felt I could not conform to a life in accordance to the Bible and felt my perspective on life was (and still is) Incompatible with the Christian faith. As a symbolic act I made that even official for myself.

Her reaction was Almost the oposite of what I expected. She spoke such wise words she sliced right through me and really touched me. Her reply was this. 'Maybe you do not conform to the Bible but God is Always with you. You think you do not pray and you think you do not speak to God, but you do pray and you conversate with God by your way of living. God doesn' t care if you pray with the Same words and actions as everyone else, God doesn't care if you go to church, God values you for being a good man.'

That reply made me speechless. I have to say I didnt see that one coming. Such an open reaction... she is anything but set in her ways and she is definitly not close minded. To be clear, I still do not believe the biblical God exists. But Lets assume he does. I do think Sor Rosita is right that it doesn't matter one little bit how many times you say your prayers, it doesn't matter how many times you go to church nor does it matter how well you have studied the holy scriptures. If God exists or he doesn't exist doesn't even really matter, the conclusion stays the Same. In the end it Always boils down to the Same questions. Are you a rightfull person, are you trying to do what you yourself believe to be good and righteous? God or No God, the way Sor Rosita practices her religious life and the way she is able to reflect on it: I respect that and can even value it. I think a lot of self proclaimed open-minded People can learn some big lessons from wise Sor Rosita. 

Young men believe they know the ways of the world. They believe their mindmaps to be far more extensive and correct than what they are. I'm glad to be old enough now to repeat Oscar Wild: 'I am not young enough to know everything'.

Are you Already old enough?

Best greetings,

B. Supertramp