To kid or not to kid, that is the question.

Today I want to write about something delicate. So before you start reading, I am not judging anyone's choices here, it purely is about me.

I want to talk about the biological urge of humans to reproduce and pass on there genes. The reason I want to talk about that is because it keeps popping up in my life lately (probably I just notice it more now because I am biologically at an excellent age to procreate, just a guess, not sure, thank you hormones). When introduced to Mexicans one of the first questions they ask, weirdly enough, if you are planning to have kids. At first I always answered "sure, obviously", but lately I have been pondering this question; Do I actually want that? Furthermore it popped up (I don't remember how) in a conversation with my parents, and even Belgian politicians (thank you John Crombez) keep reminding me of the fact that parenthood is something that should be well over thought. Anyhow, I think having a kid is a life changing event that you can't take back nor rewind, it is a big responsability, it is difficult to do right and very easy to screw up, it will cost a lot of time, energy and money if you want to do it right (and you should want to do it right!), it should not be taken lightly.

To make something very clear. This is not a post about veganism. I know there is a growing perception in 'the vegan community' that having children is not in accordance with a vegan lifestyle. I think their arguments are false and I think a Vegan can have children while completely keeping his moral and ethical dignity. I do think they are right when they say there is no particular rational argument why you should make another human and I agree that the fact you can do something doesn't mean you have to do it. Since I do not agree with their 'rational counterarguments' there is (for me) no rational argument pro or against, and thus it is just up to the individuals to make up their minds.

So I decided to imagine the possible reasons I could come up with to have a kid and start from there to see where the train of thoughts brings me...

* It is the norm, it is what our society dictates. First you go to school, then you meet the love of your life, then you build a happy life together and you better have at least two children (preferably a boy and a girl). There is nothing wrong with wanting or having this, but by now I hope you all realize I am quiet the non-conformist. My relationship to the authority of society is like that of a child to his parents, if I am told that I have to do or can't do something because it's the norm I am rather inclined to do exactly the opposite.

* It is our biological nature wanting to pass on or genes. But I really don't think I am that special or important that I have to 'secure my bloodline'. Furthermore, my genes are already being passed on to the next generation. My genetic material resides in me and my siblings. And the latter are already doing quiet a good job in passing on our genetics. So thank you to my siblings for softening the grand-parents feelings. ;)

* You can have religious, spiritual or filosofical reasons to have children. This comes down to the fact that you believe some higher entity (a God, a socio-biological principle or a spiritual concept) wants/dictates humans to populate the earth. If for example the christian God exists, he has said this (or something similar, depending on your Bible-translation): "As for you (humans), be fruitful and multiply; Populate the earth abundantly and multiply in it." Well I think we as a species have more than already achieved this. Wouldn't you agree that humans populate the earth (over)abundantly? In fact I think we achieved it so well there is actually to many of us. We are as a species suffering from our own succes. So I think this might not be the best way to go about it either.

* Beside passing on genes, humans do feel a need to pass on other things as well like for example a moral code. We feel a need to be a mentor to someone, to care for someone weak and small, to teach someone how to deal with being alive, to raise someone to be a responsible adult. I do feel this urge very strongly. Question remains, do you need to put another human on our planet to achieve this fulfilling act of mentorship. Working in a children's home made me realize there are so much children in need of love and guidance (Unicef estimates for example there are about 153 million orphan-children in the world today https://www.sos-usa.org/our-impact/focus-areas/advocacy-movement-building/children's-statistics). I don't know yet how, but I think I might maybe rather than having a child of my own take the responsabilty of existing children in need. There are many options I would consider (adoption, pleegzorgvlaanderen, planouder, ...).

I am not yet saying a definit no to the existence of my potential future offspring. I do know it would take someone very special to convince me. And I'm not sure I will ever find her. You know, I'm a very irritating person to be with, I ask a lot of difficult questions and I only give few answers. I'm also sure that if I had kids of my own, I would still like to combine it in some sort with helping out other children in need.

That's about it for now. Anyway I hope none took offence in my writing and I hope all of you are happy and at peace with whatever decision on the matter you took.

My best greetings to all of you,

B. Supertramp